{Christmas Panic Attack}

Merry Christmas! I hope this finds you all well and that you have enjoyed your Christmas Day with family/ friends.  I have to say I was breathing a little easier after Landen and Caroline opened their presents this morning. I about had a panic attack the night before Christmas Eve.

Aaron and I wanted to make sure we had everything ready the night before Christmas Eve because we knew we were going to be too busy to wrap last minute gifts and such on Christmas Eve.  As Aaron was putting Landen and Caroline down, I began carrying their gifts down stairs to be wrapped. As I began laying the items into two separate groups, I noticed there were no 'toys' or action figures of any sort.

You're probably thinking, "so what in the heck did we get them?" Right?  Okay, so back in November when I didn't have any of this pressure I decided  Landen and Caroline would probably love all new bedding (don't cringe or judge!). So I picked out all Thomas bedding for him and an awesome throw and thomas rug for his trains. For Caroline I went with Frozen. Olaf and all with a frozen rug for her. NEVER did I think at two both Landen and Caroline were really going to understand they were going to be receiving gifts from Santa or be excited to see what was under the tree for them this year (new parent moment-still happening).

Back to the night before Christmas Eve, I started to play in my mind what Landen and Caroline's faces were going to look like when they opened their new bedding. Would they look at it and toss it to the side just so they could move on to another gift in hopes it would be something better? I asked Aaron if we had screwed up, really me but I like to share in the blame with someone, and he tiredly said, " no, it's fine."  "Fine" was not good enough for me at the moment. I didn't want this first Christmas to be a disappointment to them. Sure they were getting super cool toys from all of their other family members on Christmas Eve, but these gifts were from Santa and us and they were opening them on THE big day!!

We wrapped the gifts in silence as I was trying to decide where I could go to find a toy for them. As I wrapped and made laps to the trash can with scraps, I started telling myself not to forget the meaning of Christmas and that there are children who have less or would love a new bed set....and they were getting toys from everyone else and our house would soon be chalk full of little pieces for me to chase around and keep organized-that type-a personality.

So how did it pan out today? It went great. I should have never second guessed myself.  Landen and Caroline were so excited to wash their new bedding, make their beds and take a nap today (long nap time-added bonus!) They proudly marched Mimi up stairs tonight to show off the new look to each of their toddler beds and inside it made me thankful for kids who were genuinely thankful for bedding. 

I totally understand how parents get caught up in wanting to get all the fun toys for their kids at Christmas. We don't do it because we've lost sight of Christmas. We get excited and caught up in hearing our children gasp and squeal and light up over a surprise they have been anticipating.  For me, I got caught up in my kids this year believing in Santa because honestly they are too young to understand  the abstract idea of such a miraculous birth and person ( developmentally,that is appropriate). 

I know there has to be someone that just did an eye roll.....to clarify, Aaron and I have read stories about Jesus and his birth. We've talked about it being Jesus' birthday and how he is the true reason for the season. But surrounding them has been this idea of Santa that has been more concrete and for me, hearing Landen and Caroline squeal and gasp for the first time at Christmas is a sound that I'll forever hold dear to my heart. How many moms can relate to that sound ? 

With every year Landen and Caroline will begin to really understand what the Christmas season is all about, as children should do. But for now, I'm going to continue to savor these Christmases of pure innocence, excitement, and joy. I'm going to let Landen and Caroline be kids and I'll remind myself to not go over board...because unlike them at this point, I know the real reason for the season. 

With this being our first year home together as a family on Christmas, we took it easy, enjoyed the day and began the new tradition of having Chinese take-out. It was good! And fun too! 

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!! 

Keep Calm and Mommy On! 

Xoxoxoxo

Danielle