{Surprisingly Blue}

I woke up this morning to a little man standing at the side of my bed. Half asleep I pulled him up, kissed him and made him comfy in my spot since it was time for me to get out of bed anyways. I shuffled into the bathroom getting ready for a shower and as I stood in front of the sink brushing my teeth I looked up  and my sleepy eyes came into focus. I looked at myself and in a bit of shock with my tooth brush hanging out the side of my mouth I said, "huh?"

After five weeks on my new weight lifting journey (thanks Linds!) I noticed my tummy was not what it had been when I first started. A wave of emotions swept over me and I never thought in a million years I would be first surpried and second disappointed and sadden by what I saw in the mirror. 

Before kids my tummy was trim. It was the one part of my curvey body that never really gained any weight. After twins, well, as you can imagine my tummy was a lot different after Landen and Caroline were born. My hips are covered in long shiny stretch marks and I've carried the mom pooch under my belly button for almost three years. I invested in the cute tankkinis for the beach and less form fitting  shirts to flatter my new shape. 

I have been so happy with becoming a mom and accepting the life changes and physical changes my body has gone through. But this morning brought about unexpected saddness. I got teary eyed, and still do, because the last reminder of a challenging and amazing pregnancy is almost erased. Maybe I am absolutely crazy and WAY too sentimental, but seeing a tummy that was not reflective of having carried my babies has really left me feeling a little blue. 

Who would have thought being a little more fit would land me wishing I could hang on to something I thought I was ready to get rid of...

Feeling puzzled....

xoxoxo